LSU Football Weekend Preview

Football Meets Life 101

By Chris Lowery, Contributing Writer and LSU alum

I’ve recently found out what it means to be happy.

I never knew why I was so cynical before. I understood why I was a little depressed during the spring and summer months (baseball was on), but I couldn’t quite grasp why I was so annoyingly depressed during the fall months—even with LSU’s success.

But now, I’m like a different person. I laugh at lame jokes and not just because they’re lame. I smile at strangers. I even opened the door for an elderly woman instead of flat-tiring her like I use to.

When I started to think about why, the only answer that seemed to make sense was this: I stopped watching ESPN anytime they talked about LSU; and I stopped reading LSU message boards during the week.

Hearing constant negativity about your team—even while your team is winning and you know the negatigers, as we like to call them, are anti-social basement dwellers, and that Kirk Herbstreit and Robert Smith are still butt-hurt that they’re Ohio State Buckeyes got cranked in the 2007 title game—can really take a mental toll on a person. And it’s especially the case when you immerse yourself in it for writing purposes.

But now, I just hit mute when commentators besides Jesse Palmer are talking, while simply avoiding fan message boards.

So, with the holiday season quickly approaching (and yes, I mean Halloween for partying purposes), I recommend you try and focus on other things in life for your joy, like family or whatever.

But, seriously, you should still read the rest of this.

The Most Obvious Game of the Week

No. 9 LSU hosts No. 3 South Carolina

This ones gonna’ be fun. Why? A little forgotten truth that has been buried deep below the dominance that LSU displayed last year: Les Miles is still “The Hat.”

Les Miles’ strange peccadilloes, risk taking, and odd play calling that so magically seemed to intertwine in a beautifully orchestrated chaotic ball of awesomeness, have been usurped by some strange powerhouse aura. WTF? He’s still the guy who made five fourth down conversions against Florida in ’07. He’s still the guy who flicks the ball over a place kickers head (and probably makes it bounce on purpose, just cause he can) to his actual kicker to win games. He’s still the guy who spews out utterly incoherent diction while using surprisingly big words. And he’s also 17-1 when coming off a loss. I expect this game to be great regardless of the outcome. South Carolina is playing with a ton of confidence, and LSU seems to always thrive when the world is against them.

The Game That Will Be Interesting Until Halftime, And By The End Will Make You Wonder Why CBS Put It In The 2:30 Time Slot

Missouri hosts No.1 Alabama

Missouri’s first year in the SEC has been, well, sad really. And ‘Bama is, well, ‘Bama. But Missouri will gallantly ride high off the sold out crowds emotion—and then it will be halftime. It will probably be a one score ballgame by then. However, as is usual, Alabama will “go off,” as the children like to say, and blow the poor Tigers out by three scores. And then you’ll wonder, “Why did CBS put this game in the 2:30 timeslot?” And Missouri will be 0-4 in conference play.

The Game I Use To Wake Up Early For When The Teams Were Relevant But Now I Won’t

No. 13 Oklahoma and No.15 Texas at the Texas State Fair

Every teenager sleeps late, and I was no exception. However, every year when this game would come on, I would always wake up by ten to catch the eleven o’clock kickoff, because it seemed like something was always on the line. But now, it’s just, blah. They’re just two ranked teams playing too early. And the winner will go on to achieve, probably, nothing great this year (no offense). I don’t even know who OU’s quarterback is anymore. Sam Bradford, right? Their mediocrity makes me mad. But I do wish I were there to hang out at the state fair.

Didn’t mean to rhyme that.

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More by Chris Lowery